I have been spending my time in and out of Miami over the past few weeks. No particular reason but I happened to meet this guy who does realty down here and I’ve been crashing at his place in Sunny Isles. I didn’t even know what sunny isles was a few weeks ago. But I go to this club and end up spending most of my time hanging with this dude on a couch instead of moving around and dancing, to be fair, I wasn’t really into the music they were playing either. Anyway, he says he liked my style and wanted to know if I wanted to make some money on the weekends as a real estate agent and the next thing I know he asks me what I know about sunny isles. What do you think I said? “What’s a sunny isle?”
Then this guy, theatrical to a point. He points at the ground, there’s this dingy torn up tile that my converse sneakers are resting on. “What if I told you that where your feet are on are worth is fifteen hundred dollars?” First thing I thought of was David Guettas red spiked converse, then I realized he was talking about the broken tile.
He tells me that there is this place that he sells exclusively in Sunny Isles for the 1% called Chateau’s Beach Residences, or for those who love perfect alliteration, Chateau Condos. ???? He needs someone who’s from New York to take his client’s out and schmooze them with New York stuff. So when these people aren’t walking around in this beautiful beachside resort in million dollar homes, they’re up in New York feeling rustic as I teach them how to slum it. I kid you not these entrepreneurs loved the idea of ‘second-acting’ and said it was the first time they had felt danger in a long time. What are they gonna do throw us out? =
So anyway, here I am, coasting in a gorgeous hotel in Sunny Isles, looking up more information about these chateau beach residencies. I don’t think I’m going to be able to learn enough about it, but at some point I might earn commission. Now am I going to beg and screw up this gig? No, of course not, come on. But man are these places nice. I keep reading up on these sites like The Brosda & Bentley Team, classy place, I am 100% I will never get to live in a location like the one’s they offer and it is a crazy cool area.
But I like to think, what are the chances I could stay their for a weekend? Just make up some sort of deal so that when the time comes I can treat myself to some chateau condos? I just dream about it now. My life up north is just fizzling away, I feel like I’m choking when I’m in my apartment now. Checking out these cool pictures and wondering to myself “Am I ever going to be enough” that I can afford to be in a place like that, to be a person who could live in a place like that?